Developing Empathy: A Lifelong Skill for Building Compassionate Connections

What is Empathy?

The Miriam-Webster Dictionary defines empathy as the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another. This definition starts with the word action. This is important since empathy is a skill that is learned and developed. Empathy is a building block for kindness and compassion in all relationships.

Empathy involves mirroring someone else’s feelings with no selfish intention. It is understanding someone else more clearly and appreciating their perspectives.

Teaching Empathy

Studies have shown that empathy starts developing in children very early, as early as the first year of life; The relationship between maternal and infant empathy: The mediating role of responsive parenting. We see babies and toddlers reacting to distress in others with their facial expressions, gentle pats, hugs, and verbal behaviors. We react to these behaviors and notice that they are cute, and they are, but they are much more. These behaviors are the roots of more complex empathetic feelings and behaviors. Children who develop empathy at a young age develop acceptance and tolerance of others. It positions children to incorporate learning to understand themselves and others as a lifelong skill.

Activities for Teaching Empathy

➧ Create a Feelings Book

Sit down with your child or children and have them dictate a story to you about a feeling—any feeling they like. Perhaps they or one of their toys or pets is having a feeling. Your role is to write down what they say. The story may not make sense to you or follow a logical storyline. It is important to write down what the child dictates in their words.

Once you have captured their story, type it in big letters (18 points) with one sentence at the bottom of each page. Print the pages, one sentence per page. Let the child illustrate them, and make a cover. It can be one book or a series. They may start with happy as their topic and move to angry or sad. Creating stories about feelings allows children to think about feelings and what they mean to them.

➧ Play Emotion Charades

Even toddlers can play emotional charades.
Just like regular charades create teams, but instead of acting out titles, act out emotions.

One partner whispers a feeling to the other partner, who acts it out. The other team guesses what it is. The game may last 10 minutes or longer. It’s fun. You can also create illustrations of feelings on cards or use family photos.

➧ No Two People Are the Same

You will be surprised at what your children notice.
You can play this in several ways.

A) If you still get hard copies of magazines, cut out pictures of people and put two next to each other, and ask your child to tell you what is the same or different about them. Start with images that show noticeable differences and follow your child’s pace to make the differences more subtle.

B) At the park, mall, or any public place, while eating or strolling, ask your child to tell you what is the same or different about the people you see.

➧ Model Magic and Empathy

Children love playing with model magic. It is very easy to use and clean up. Playing with it with your children, make different shapes, and ask how it makes them feel. Start easy with a heart or sun, and then get more abstract with the shapes. What feeling could this shape be? Ask children to make shapes for you to guess the feeling. Enjoy the conversation. There are no right or wrong answers!

➧ Pretend Play

Playing pretend with children is not everyone’s cup of tea. But if you enjoy it, it provides rich and endless opportunities to teach empathy to children. Taking care of that sick doll, dog, horse, or rabbit. Arguing about who gets to be in charge or who gets to wear the hat. My son loved bandaging my “sore feet or hands” and pretending to take care of me. It was also great fun to try and do it on the dog.

➧ Read Picture Books with Your Child

I am a great supporter of public libraries. Rather than provide you with a list of books, I encourage you to use the search term Picture Books Empathy at your local library. Most public libraries will send any books that you want to your local branch for you to pick up. You can order a bunch and just return the ones you don’t like.

It Takes Time

Developing empathy takes time. It is a complex skill that continues to develop throughout our lives. When we give young children the skills to develop empathy, we are giving them essential skills to develop compassion for others and healthy relationships.

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